Oh, hey there. You’ve popped up again. I haven’t thought about you in a while, but here you are taking up space in my head. Your face floated into my thoughts like a delicate butterfly after I heard someone who sounded like you. It’s good to see you.
You were in my dream again last night. You do that every few weeks. It was so vivid and real to me that I woke up happy, thinking the dream had transcended into reality. In my dream you burst into my house, picked me up, and began passionately kissing me. Gross, I know. I remember being so confused but I wasn’t going to question what was happening. And then you left me, and I stood there stunned and hurt. And then the dream skipped time as it does, and I found myself opening the door with you standing there. I remember I couldn’t breathe with your green eyes piercing into me. You told me you were sorry for leaving, that you freaked out. You told me your feelings scared you, but that we should try a relationship because why the hell not? You said we spent the majority of our friendship in high school missing our chance, so now is as good of a time as any. I looked at you very seriously, not believing this was actually happening. Not believing you were in front of me, admitting your feelings, something both of us were too scared to do before. But there you were, doing just that. And then I woke up. I woke up happy. And then I realized it was a dream.
I suppose all of these random dreams and thoughts of you is my subconscious telling me to contact you somehow, either over Facebook or text or whatever, even though it’s been 2 years since we last spoke. But that won’t happen. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear from me, and I wouldn’t know what to say.
There was one time a few years ago where you told me you liked to read my blog to keep up with me. I wonder if you still do. I wrote another blog post about you 2 years ago, and I remember you messaging me and asking me if it was about you. I lied and said no. But I guess telling the truth doesn’t really matter anymore, so here I am telling you the truth in case you still read this silly thing.
I suppose for now I’ll just hope that you decide to contact me one day and I’ll keep working on the same thing I have been doing for 4 years: getting over you.