Today as I was walking to class, I couldn’t ignore the throbbing I felt in the right corner of my chin. It was the throbbing of a nice, big zit trying to surface. Every girl knows that feeling, and every girl knows that those kinds of zits won’t go away for a while. I was becoming annoyed by this new visitor on my face and immediately began thinking about how I could cover it, how it would make me look, what people would think. And it brought me back to a time my senior year of high school.
I was taking voice lessons with a lovely young lady (and I can’t remember her name. Figures.). We were working on my solo-and-ensemble piece, Bonjour Suzon. I was having difficultly opening my mouth and keeping facial expressions, so she grabbed a square mirror and told me to sing to it. I turned to look into it and was appalled at what I saw. You know how you look completely different in various kinds of light? I left my house thinking I covered everything I needed to on my face, and I felt great. I looked in the mirror, and I saw a blotchy, white with red dots, asymmetrical face. And tears immediately began welling up in my eyes. My voice teacher looked at me confused, and I told her I couldn’t sing in the mirror. She prompted me to try anyway, so I did. I looked at my face in that mirror, and I swear to god that was the worst singing I have ever done in my life.
I never thought voice lessons could turn into a self-esteem awareness class, and I never thought my voice teacher would be the one to make me look in that mirror and tell myself that I am beautiful.
After a week or two, my face cleared up. I looked into that mirror, and I sang like I never have before.
It got me thinking — people say that you shouldn’t base your feelings about yourself on beauty, and they are absolutely right. The unfortunate part is people do, and I don’t think there will ever be a time where that concept will change. You feel how you look. So my theory is why fight that? Why try to ignore your looks for the sake of your feelings when they will always be intertwined? I say focus on your looks, and focus on them hard. See all of the imperfections and love them. The moment you love and accept your imperfections, you are truly beautiful.