A topic that is quickly becoming big and controversial thanks to Miley Cyrus and her dancing antics. Some believe that you shouldn’t judge someone by their behaviors, and others believe that the ‘sluts’ do it to themselves. Where is the fine line? I’m not sure that will ever be answered, just like most other controversial topics. There will always be two sides, neither of them wrong, but neither of them right. It will just be one of those topics with two sides always yelling at each other because one thinks it is better than the other. But this is my take.
Side one: Don’t judge someone by their behaviors.
Who are you to determine what is good or bad for a person? And who are you to deem some action totally inappropriate and shameful? “If you slate is clean then you can cast the first stone, but if it is not then leave her alone.” What a woman does with her life is strictly her business. Lets look at a couple of interesting points:
- Many women have been pointing this double standard out for years, but now it is more relevant than ever. I was talking with my oldest brother one day and he proudly told me his ‘number’. Apparently (and I do not believe this for a damn second), his number is 93 (bull-fucking-shit). He has slept with 93 women. How is that even remotely healthy? And how has he not caught STDs like Ash catches Pokemon? He then asked me my number, and I told him 3, after which he began calling me easy and lecturing me on how I shouldn’t tell any of my friends that because I could come off as a complete slut. WHAT?! Please, male species, tell me how this is fair. For centuries, men have chosen to ignore that women have a sex drive equally as active as men. We can experience great pleasure during sex, so why should we deny ourselves that pleasure when guys get to enjoy it? For some reason, there is this taboo notion around women and sex that has played a big role in slut shaming. Society puts so many shackles on women to try and make them feel like they are nothing. Women need to be skinny, women need to wear make up, women need to shave their legs, women need to do this and that and everything else. Then, and only then, will they be worth something to men. Being a slut isn’t shameful, being apart of a bigoted society is.
- Did you know that many of the women who are abused physically, sexually, and/or verbally as a child or young adult are more prone to exhibit promiscuous behavior? Bet you didn’t. Why is that so? Without getting too into the psychological damage that occurs, those who are abused are beaten down to almost nothing, and they feel absolutely worthless. Those compliments people take for granted? They never got any. To themselves, they aren’t beautiful or intelligent or strong. They are a physical piece of meat created to be someone’s punching bag. That is all they are good for and that is all they will ever be. And if/when they escape that life, they go out into the world with the mindset that no one likes a body covered in physical and invisible scars. No one likes a body that doesn’t do anything for them. But, if you have something they want, if you play the game right, then they want you. You become worth something to someone. So the next time you look at someone and think “Man, she is slutty”, backtrack and think “I wonder if she is okay with herself” because she likely isn’t. Before you think “She is totally sleeping her way around school”, stop and think “Maybe she needs someone to tell her she is beautiful and really mean it”.
Now, all of this isn’t to say that every single deemed ‘slut’ is suffering from some sort of trauma (the whole bigoted society is pretty sound, whether women are aware of it or not). There are those girls who go through guys like water in a sieve, but I am not here to bash them. They go do their own thing, and good for them. They have broken out of society’s perfect shell of a female model. They are doing what they want, who they want, when they want to. In a sense, they are touching the true meaning of freedom. They are free from the mold, they are free from caring about other people’s thoughts, they are free within themselves. BUT. Perhaps there is a point where their behavior becomes risky, as with men. Would you not agree that 93 girls is pretty damn risky? So, what should we do when their behavior becomes risky? The answer is not to start calling them slut and hoping that word will make them change, because it won’t. It only puts shackles on them. Instead, help them. If you see a girl on her fifth guy at a bar, invite her to some girl time. Ask her if she is okay. Don’t judge her, befriend her. Accept her for who she is, and be there in case something bad happens. Do something other than condemn her actions, because that obviously goes no where but south.
In the case of Miley Cyrus, though I do not personally agree with her decisions, they are HER decisions. If that is what she feels like she needs to do in order to explore herself and discover who she really is, then be my guest. And here is my opinion: Miley Cyrus is the product of our society. If she feels the needs to exploit herself in order to gain attention, that is our fault, not hers. Do not blame her for what barriers we have created, because she is only trying to break out of them.