20 (Part 2)

So a few months ago, three to be exact, I blogged about the the terrifying prospect of turning 20. It wasn’t much of a post to be honest. It was a mere four lines musing that I was turning 20 in three months, 21 in 15 months, and how I just got used to being 19.

And that still rings true. My birthday has come and gone, and I still feel about 15 years old. I remember being little and looking up to my big cousins and thinking “Geez, how can they be so mature? They look so old! How can I possibly be like them when I am their age?” I don’t know if that was just 10 year old me putting 15 year old cousins up on this pedestal, awed by their age and the homework they had to do in high school.

Even when I was a mere freshman or sophomore in high school, I looked up to the seniors as if they were ages ahead of me. They certainly looked mature. I would look at myself in the mirror everyday and wonder how the hell I would get to that point in two years. I couldn’t envision my face shifting into adulthood. But here I am, 20 years old. Wondering what I will look like in 1, 5, 10 more years. Wondering how much more mature I can get. It’s funny: looking back, I remember thinking to myself “Man, I am just really mature for high school.” And now I am in college. And now I open my mouth and think to myself “Amelia, shut up. You sound 10.”

I suppose I will have to get used to the idea of the number 20. Soon enough, I will have to get used to 21. Everything is coming so fast. I’m not ready.


About returntoneverland

All around procrastinator, screw-up extraordinaire.
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4 Responses to 20 (Part 2)

  1. B.F.G says:

    Dearest Amelia,
    I don’t mean to lecture, so if you find me too preachy you have it within your power not to approve this comment and simply read it yourself. I read this post, and was sad to know that someone feels exactly as i do right now. Please understand, its nice to know your not alone, but not so nice to know that others out there feel as bad as you do. I hope that your college days are fun and exciting, and that the days pass you by and that growing older becomes a more natural experience for you, i know that they are for me.

    I hope that this helps, if you ever need an anonymous internet confidante, feel free to let me know, as I’m sure you know how to get ahold of me.

    • ameliaalexis says:

      This is a great comment and definitely made me smile, so thank you for that. And I will definitely keep you in mind.

      • mechagigas says:

        I’m happy to know that i was able to make you smile. Big Friendly Giants like myself pride ourselfs on making others happy 🙂

        Yours truly,


      • B.F.G. says:

        Dearest Amelia,
        I was happy to know that my last comment brought you a smile. You see, Big Friendly Giants like myself pride ourselves on making others happy 🙂



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