I know we haven’t seen each other, or even talked to each other, in a long time.But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, probably more than I should have, and I want you to know that I miss you. Not like a “I regret what happened” or “I want to see you again”. Not even like a “maybe we should catch up sometime”. It’s just… I miss you. Full stop. Nothing further. It’s strange to think that someone I knew so well has become a total stranger. Someone I used to not go a day without talking to hasn’t heard from me in months, nor I from you. It’s strange to think that I can go entire days without thinking about you even a little. Most of the time I let myself forget because it is easier. But then I find something; an old letter, a little note tucked away in the sleeve of my binder, a coffee cup you teased me about because of how nerdy it was… and the full weight of what’s been lost comes crashing down on me.
But this isn’t regret. We had reasons for ending it, very good and valid reasons. But, back at the start, we didn’t need a reason for anything. It all just happened so effortlessly. We were miles apart with almost no hope for a future. But we didn’t need a reason to fall in love. We just did. The reasons came at the end, and everything since then has been about reasons. And that’s good. That means one day I might find someoneI won’t have to say goodbye to. Some day I might find someone, and we won’t ever need reasons for anything. We just will be. But part of me misses loving someone, and knowing that someone loves you back just as much. That’s all.
I guess what I’m saying is I hope things are good with you. I hope you are doing great. I hope you found a love that is all the things our love couldn’t be. And I hope I find that too, one day. But a small part of me hopes that you still remember what it was like before all of the reasons…. and that you miss me, too.