By request, a relationship analysis paper I wrote for my speech class. I changed names and the speech jargon to make it more interesting. Enjoy.
Many high school students have a teacher they admire. They are friends, confidants, someone to trust amongst the bouts of low self-esteem and drama. Teachers, for some, are viewed as a role model; one who always knows best and never does anything to betray their student’s trust. I had one such teacher at the beginning of my sophomore year. Mr. P stepped in as choir director for my high school after the old one resigned due to feuds with our principal. He quickly became the admirational teacher for the choir students that flocked to the room morning and night for rehearsals and to hang out with friends. After about a year, his role in my life changed. As my junior year went on, my choir director and I dove into a deeper relationship than I could have ever imagined, and it was all because of one moment.
Mr. P became my saving grace at the beginning of my junior year. During that time I was diagnosed with depression and began taking a variety of medications. There would be days I would stomp into his office in tears, screaming at the top of my lungs about how the wind outside was making me angry and he would actively listen to me, expressing understanding of my feelings even though they were outrageous. He would write me notes out of class so I could finish crying and calm down. I would sit in his office and talk to him for hours, disclosing my family troubles and the struggle within myself. I only disclose most to the people I like and trust, and Mr. P definitely fit the criteria for that. Venting to him helped me improve my coping abilities. Instead of keeping all of my anger and frustration inside and suppressed, I had found an outlet. Not only that, but Mr. P and I formed a closer relationship because I knew that no matter what craziness came out of my mouth, he would never judge me and would always be there to listen.One day, after venting about my latest family drama, Mr. P began talking to me about his family situation. He and his wife were arguing more than usual, and it was affecting his two little kids. I knew then it was my turn to listen even though there were both personal and professional risks.
Around Thanksgiving that same year, I had a bomb dropped on me. My best friend, a year older than me, confided in me that she had begun a relationship with Mr. P. Immediately I began internally fighting with myself on how I viewed him both as a friend and as a professional. How could a man I viewed as brilliant decide to break the morals I believed he had and risk not only his family and his career, but also the reputation of both himself and my best friend? Almost immediately after my best friend told me this, rumors in the choir room began to flare up about a relationship between him and a student. One day, Mr. P called a few of the people who began the rumor into his office, as well as my best friend and myself (for moral support). During that meeting, I watched my choir director look at each person in the eye and say that there was nothing going on between himself and a student. He then boldly announced that he would walk into the principal’s office at that very moment because he was “an open book”. I listened as Mr. P self-enhanced himself in order to make him appear innocent as well as selfishly deceive in order to protect himself. I had never met such an amazing actor before. He then spoke to me one-on-one, told me everything, and pleaded for me to not say a word. I told him of course I would not after all he had done for me. He had helped me, now it was my turn to help him. However, if he could lie to the principal, could he lie to me after our relationship became so intimate?
After that incident, the relationship between him and my best friend intensified and I became Mr. P’s confidant. If he were fighting with my best friend, he would sit in his office and pour his heart out to me, often resulting in tears. He would beg me for advice or to talk some sense into her, and I would. I would give advice and listen and push my own issues aside to make room for theirs, and I never received anything in return. Because of this, I began differentiating myself from Mr. P. His confiding in me became extremely overwhelming and I often was asked to quell any new rumors that would pop up. It all became extremely taxing on my emotional health, and my depression issues began to resurface even stronger.
Toward the end of the year I began changing. I had to distance myself from him. The image of the choir director I knew slowly began morphing into someone who was deceitful, unstable, and toxic. Summer came and our toxic relationship continued despite not seeing each other. He would call me in the dead of night pleading for advice on how to make my best friend happy, how to get her to come back, how he should say sorry for things he did. He would text me throughout the day with little quips about something him and my best friend were planning – going to Greece, seeing musicals, sending her flowers, how he was going to marry her… The new school year began and my hope was that things would calm down and we could resume the friendship we had before everything happened. My best friend moved off to college four hours away, so they could theoretically never see each other. Of course, that was only in theory. He would skip school days to drive down and see her, and she would visit him as well. The second six weeks of school, he resigned. I felt completely betrayed. After all I had did for him the past year, he didn’t have the decency to give me a heads up. I was angry and hurt. All of that work I had done for him, to help him keep his job, was for nothing. I finally decided to permanently terminate our relationship, thinking that would be the end. It wasn’t.
The summer before my first semester in college, I received a call from my best friend late one night. She told me he had lied to her, cheated on her, and left her. He had led her to believe he was getting a divorce from his wife to marry her, when instead he had moved back in and was also seeing other people. I never thought he was capable of living a lie for two years, and I had believed that he was deeply in love with her. He had lied to her, he had lied to me, and he had lied to himself.
He is now awaiting trial for having an inappropriate relationship with a student and several other accusations. I have never experienced a relationship quite like the one Mr. P and I had. Our friendship type became toxic and did not benefit me in any way, and though we had become closer through confiding in one another, the lies he told unraveled what relationship we had.